“The world is little, people are little, human life is little. There is only one big thing — desire.”
― Willa Cather, The Song of the Lark
We are learning our talents. I like to think of it that way. It’s a lifelong endeavor. Forever setting the bar higher, pushing the parameters of our self-perceived boundaries.
The idea of, Scarcity, was introduced to me recently. It’s not a novel idea, but one that struck me right in the serendipitous nerve, at the exact right time. When an idea, concept, or theme keeps repeating itself and popping up in my life reel, I try and take notice. Stop and process.
I often go to bed at night allowing my mind to plow through the list of tasks and errands that I failed to accomplish that day. Where I fell short. I wake in a state of haze, and within moments I’m piling them back on, right back in it with to-do lists, objectives, chores to be done. Throughout the day, it’s often a series of checking the boxes. Check. Check. Check check check.
The concept of Scarcity is found in Brene Brown’s book, Daring Greatly. Honestly, I haven’t even read it (add it to the to-do), but hearing her idea of living a life that is, “never enough,” resonated with me. She states, “Scarcity thrives in a culture where everyone is hyperaware of lack. Everything from safety to love to money and resources feels restricted or lacking. We spend inordinate amount of time calculating how much we have, want, and don’t have, and how much everyone else has, needs, and wants” (p. 26).
I like to challenge myself and take on more responsibilities; professionally, in my community, my home, and creative endeavors. I’ve purposefully become more of a, “yes,” woman. Even with heeding the warning of, “spreading yourself too thin,” I still say bring it, fueled with a Carpe Diem mentality and a desire to be part of it all. The list may be an onset for exhaustion at some point, but more often, these things bring me joy.
While I’m happy to take on the challenges, today, after getting pulled over for speeding on 95th after my morning workout, I’m reflecting on the need to pause. I’m looking around my house at the chores that need attention. I’m thinking about the bank, the city sticker I need to pick up, the birthday card, shower gift, the emails, the shopping. Pause. Much like my heavy foot, I need to release the heavy weights which drain, and let up on the gas.
I’m enough. I want this to be my intention and reflection when I lay my head down at night. I want to rest, knowing there is nothing about me that is inadequate; To focus more on the ample amounts of love, rather than emphasizing the lack. My life is full.
It is possible to desire to build and still sit back and admire the progress made in the construction. To climb the mountain and admire the view; even on ridges below the peak, with dishes in the sink, piles of laundry, and lists of to-dos there’s so much to be thankful for. Right here, in this moment.
Desire fuels the drive and helps to steer direction. It’s vital. Just as vital is the need to roll down the window, turn up the music, and sing at the top of your lungs, while adhering to the speed limit, of course. Slowing down. Enjoy the view and just be. Whichever mile marker we find ourselves, we’ve moved forward. We’ve made progress. That is big.