Saturday morning I got up bright and early. Jetted out about 7, braving the brisk March winds to check in as a volunteer for a local charity run. Bundled and layered, I pulled away from my house and began rollin down the street. Golden beams of sun streamed in ropy waves through the shaded cages of East street houses. With my comforting coffee in hand, I drove leisurely south.
After two blocks, I slowly made the left turn, head east. The charity run check in spot was three blocks ahead. As soon as I made the turn I became alarmingly aware of the danger of my situation. Absolute nuclear bomb blinding light floods my car.
I wince, and let out a loud, “Aww, what the??” I turn the knob, summoning the windshield wiper fluid to wash away the salty grime. No dice. I’m out. All dry.
Suddenly a flood of potential scenarios start reeling … I have no sight. I could hit a parked car. A crossing cat. The boy on the bike. The hand in hand family going to mass.
Why am I still driving?? I press the brake and stop my 5 mph blinded ride, pausing in the middle of the street while I reevaluate the situation. I only have 2 ½ blocks to go. But, I cannot see a damn thing. There’s no other option. I’ve gotta go Ace Ventura all the way. Desperate times call for desperate measures, so I swallow my pride and boost myself up and roll the window down all the way. Saying a silent prayer that my neighbors were occupied sleeping or eating their Wheaties, I stretch my head out the window beyond the rear mirror so I can catch a clear view of the street. Still squinting, I navigate my way once again, rolling at a steady 10 mph with the unforgiving wind smacking me cruelly in the face. My hair whips backward as I forge ahead. Recognizing the insanity I start laughing, so now not only am I extended out my window with straining squint eyes and slicked smoothed hair, but I’m smiling like a doofus clown.
Two short blocks and I’m at the community center’s curb. Safe and sound unscathed, I laugh aloud as I take the keys out of the ignition and my feet hit the pavement of the city street. I look both ways, as the streaming sun beams down upon my neck and now blinds the poor woman driving my direction at a petrified snail paced 5 mph. I quicken my step to a jog to avoid becoming a casualty of her crawling car. I make sure to give her a smile and a bro nod as she arrived at the curb with a sigh of relief.
Was a blindingly beautiful day for a run.